You Can't Go Home Again
by Raven-Osiris
Summary: Hermione feels alone and isolated following the defeat of Voldemort and leaves London. A familiar face needs her help desperately, and will do anything to get her to come home. M for later chapters. Please R
1. Chapter 1

_AN – I do not own Harry Potter or anything associated with Harry Potter including the characters in this story. I wish I did, but I don't. I hope you enjoy!_

**You Can't Go Home Again**

The dreams started in mid winter, 6 months after the war had officially ended. The time in between was spent in a whirlwind of parties, celebrations of victory, congratulations and mourning for the dead. Everybody wanted a piece of the Golden Trio, the people who had brought the peace and quiet to the wizarding world. Everyone wanted to shake their hands, give their thanks and even just to touch a part of them.

Hermione had found the attention too hard to bear and after almost half a year of being paraded and showed off she was tired. Sick of never having the peace she craved so much, she moved to the small Devonshire village in which she had grown up. Far away from prying wizard eyes and populated (as far as she knew) solely by muggle families, it was a safe haven for her. The village was set in a quiet valley, a wind trap often raining and with a small pebble beach, but to Hermione it was the most perfect place in the world. No eyes constantly following her. No questions. No requests for retelling of events that she would give anything to forget. She refused to use magic anymore, scared of the abilities she had discovered when fighting in the last few weeks of the war. Scared of the power she seemed to have gained from nowhere.

Harry and Ron had been somewhat surprised when she had announced several months earlier that she was leaving London. Much to her consternation both of her best friends had been delighted with the attention (Ron more so than Harry she thought) that they had received from the wizarding world after the defeat of Voldemort. Only that morning she had opened her copy of The Daily Prophet to see Ron's face smiling and winking winningly off the front page, followed by an in depth interview including questions about his love life. When the journalist had come to the questions regarding Ron's upcoming nuptials Hermione had stopped dead and not read anymore. Hermione had always known that her and Ron were a bad fit, but it still stung to realise he was over her and in love with someone else.

It was to be expected really. With the masses of attention and wealth showered on Ron, Harry and Hermione after the war, hundreds of suitors from all over the world poured into London seeking attention from one of the three. Harry had spurned all of them and immediately started seeing Ginny again. Ron was getting married and Hermione felt more alone than ever. Sometimes she wondered if she had left London to get some peace, or to get away from the constant reminder that she didn't have what she most wanted, someone to share her life with. Her life had always been filled with family and then the friends that she had made at Hogwarts. But now they were all paired off, her parents no longer around and no real confidante.

That is when the nightmares had started. At first they were simply nondescript dark shadows, surrounding her and whispering unintelligible things. But as time went on they became more sinister. They took the form of Death Eaters long dead surrounding and torturing her, her ears filled with their hateful words. The image of her parents murder replayed over and over night after night until she finally gave in and used magic to create a Sleeping Draught. The nightmares stopped, but her waking life was still haunted.

Several weeks after she had moved back home Hermione had started to notice a stranger walking around in the village with a black dog. It being such a small place he immediately looked out of place and 'different'. At first she had assumed that it was just another tourist or local, a man she hadn't seen before but nothing to be concerned about. But as the days went on she became more and more sure that he was following her. Everywhere in the village she went, him and the dog seemed to be there. He never got close enough for her to see his face but something about the figure reminded her of someone she knew. Keen to discover his identity she asked around the villagers, who frequently spent their days gossiping about anything and everything they could, especially outsiders. She had no luck. He hadn't visited any of the shops, the pub, the village hall or anywhere. No-one knew where he was staying or where he had come from. Finally, she decided to confront him. Taking a short and deliberately slow walk down to the beach, she made sure he was following her until she finally got to the pebbled shore. Her hair whipped around her wildly in the wind and she turned around sharply to see an all too familiar face.

Severus Snape. She stared dumbfounded for a moment and then called above the noise of the wind.

"Animagus?" she asked raising an eyebrow.

"Black Labrador" he replied, and she was certain that for the briefest moment he had smiled.

"I'm sorry you wasted the journey" Hermione said turning her back to Severus Snape and gazing out at the steely grey sea. Waves crashed violently on the pebbled beach and the wind whistled so loudly that she didn't hear him moving behind her. She turned around and jumped at his sudden closeness.

"I can't come back"

"Why?"

"I'm happy here, I just want to start my life over. Surely you of all people can understand that"

He scowled at the reference to his former dark life.

"You're needed" he shouted above the roar of the ocean "It's a case of duty, nothing more. If you won't do it for me, do it for the memory of Dumbledore, do it for your friends"

"What's going on? What's gone so wrong that you need me back?" she shouted, concern and worry for her friends taking over her desire to stay alone.

"Come with me and I'll show you" His dark eyes penetrated hers with such intensity she found it nearly impossible to look away.

Finally, blushing she turned away. She set off down the beach, not uttering another word and trying her hardest not to look back.

_Next Chapter coming soon..._

_Please R&R_


	2. Chapter 2

_AN – I don't own Harry Potter or anything affiliated with Harry Potter. If I did I would be relaxing at home with my millions, not writing this while I should be working._

**You Can't Go Home Again**

Chapter 2

After the war people said Severus Snape was a different man. Everyone thought the same thing. In his opinion though, it was not him that had changed. It was everyone else. His deepest secrets regarding Lily, Dumbledore and nameless other things were now common knowledge, and thus everyone's attitude towards him had changed. He was seen as some kind of a hero by everyone. His outwardly cold demeanour no longer fooled people. Even Potter had gone out of his way to make sure everyone knew what a brave and selfless man he was. Suddenly he was a 'romantic' figure in the wizarding world's eyes and he was unbelievably sick of it.

After months of dealing with praise and admiration Severus had been sorely tempted to leave, just as Hermione had done. However the arrival late one night of an owl tapping urgently at his study window everything had changed.

For the few weeks leading up to the confrontation with Hermione on the beach Severus had watched and followed her around the village. She had looked gaunt, pale and thin compared to the last time he had seen her. True she had been battle scarred but she had had fire in her eyes in those last days, a desperation to stay alive and fight. Now that lively, fierce, determined girl seemed to have gone. The scars seemed healed. _**Some battle scars run deeper than that**_, he thought, _**you of all people know how that feels**_. It made him sad to think of it.

He kept his distance for a while, all the time secretly enjoying the time away from Hogwarts. The longer he stayed the more he realised why Hermione would choose to hide away in a place like this. It was so tranquil. There were no busy roads, the beach was deserted almost every day and every time he stopped still he could hear nothing but silence.

His meeting with Hermione was certainly not what he had hoped and expected. He had been told by Ron and Harry that she would take persuading. And they had been correct obviously. She had not even asked why he was there, she had instinctively known he was there to bring her back. Up close she looked dreadful. Her cheeks were hollow and her hair matted and tangled as it flew around her thin face. Her clothes hung off her. She was clearly not looking after herself at all. He wondered briefly what Ron and Harry would think if they knew the state she was in and considered how to explain that she hadn't come back with him. After all he had promised. _**Time for another plan**_, he thought as he walked back from the beach, _**and this one better be good.**_

Over the next few days Hermione thought hard about her brief conversation with Snape on the beach. She hadn't seen or heard from him since but that didn't stop her feeling uneasy about the meeting. Over and over she played the conversation in her head. What could be so urgent that he came to get her here? She felt guilty. Surely for him to visit her directly it must be something important, after all he was almost as much as a war hero as 'The Golden Trio'. She debated sending him an owl asking for an explanation. Every time she put pen to paper she hesitated and stared blankly at the empty sheet in front of her. Surely with Voldemort gone it couldn't be anything serious, and if it was why would they need her? Wouldn't Ron and Harry contact her if they needed her that badly? At one point in her life she would have known the answer without thinking. But things were different now. _**You left them**_, she reminded herself again and again, _**you didn't even say goodbye**_**. **Did Ron and Harry think her a coward for running away? She didn't want to think about the answer.

Rain and wind battered the tiny house for days and Hermione didn't venture outside. The grey skies reminded her of the despair and darkness brought by the Dementors and the warmth of her home was incentive enough not to leave. The fear of running into Snape also kept her from leaving. Although she was sure he was no longer in the village, she still felt like she was being watched. Perhaps she was. So she tried distracting herself in any way possible. Reading was a pastime she usually loved but it didn't work. Having spent so long in virtual seclusion, there were few unread books in her collection. Cooking had occupied her for a while, until the realisation that she had too much food and no-one to it with made her feel empty and lonely. So she sat, sad and quiet at her bay windows and stared at the driving rain. She was too disconcerted to relax, too scared to motivate herself into some kind of action.

Her thoughts drifted to the man who had come to bring her back. His part in the war was crucial. After the revelation that the murder of Albus Dumbledore had actually been planned between them, he had joined in the fight against Voldemort. He had risked his life, not only for her but for Harry, Ron and countless others. He was the definition of a hero. He had avoided the limelight however and returned to Hogwarts to resume the post of Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. Where he was once feared and hated by his pupils, his stony and cold demeanour no longer seemed to frighten them. He was liked and admired. _**"You're needed" **_he had said when they met, and there was a true desperation in his voice that she had not been expecting. Could there really be something going on that only she could help with? Her one connection to the wizarding world, The Daily Prophet, had not mentioned any serious events. No Deatheater returns or mysterious murders had been reported. Surely if it was anything else the wizarding community could do without her help. _**Ah**_, said a little voice inside her head, _**but that's not exactly true is it?**_ She thought about the last week of the war, the endless duelling. And then the sudden realisation of an intense and overwhelming power she never knew she had. She thought of the darkness that had consumed her and burst uncontrollably from every pore of her body on that last night. She shivered. _**No**_, said the voice, _**you can't go back after what you did. **_Tears began to stream down her face and she thought inexplicably of her parents. Dead and gone. As she wiped her eyes on the corner of her cardigan a sudden knock at the door made her start.

_AN: I know the first two chapters have been a bit short but I promise they get longer as more is revealed about what happened to Hermione. Please R&R, even if it's criticism. _


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